When we Die

In the Catholic Church, November is dedicated to the Souls in Purgatory.  Besides taking extra time to pray for those who have died, it is a good time to reflect on and think about death in general.  When it comes to people dying, many people tend to share things that are just not true.  Several weeks ago, a nearby Catholic parish shared the obituary of one of their parishioners who had died.  The caption of the post said, “a smiling face that greeted everyone has earned her angel wings.”  That is simply bad theology that was shared and the fact that a church posted this goes to show it is not surprising when countless people express the same thoughts and words when someone dies.

When people die, there are countless family members and friends of that person who share words that are not only wrong, but also hurtful to the person who has died.  How many times do we see and hear people saying things like, “this person is now in a better place”, “he is up there enjoying a cold one”, “you now have an angel watching over you”, “happy birthday in heaven”, and the list goes on.  I know these words come from a well-intentioned place.  People in an attempt to comfort the family and friends of a loved one who died, or to make themselves feel better, say these kinds of words because they often don’t know what to say in the midst of deep grief and sadness, and these kinds of words make death less painful.  However, we cannot assume people into heaven.  If we love and care for a person, we will pray for them.

When I die, whether that’s five years from now, 10 years from now, or 60 years from now,  I do not want a eulogy shared during my funeral mass, talking about the good things I did or what I accomplished in my life.  I don’t want people sitting around saying I’m in a better place or that I’m enjoying my time with others in heaven.  I want people praying for my soul and offering masses for me because I know at the hour of my death I will be in great need of God’s mercy.  And my hope is that this is what every single person would want not only for themselves, but also for their family members and friends who pass before them.

It’s important to trust and hope in God’s mercy, love, and forgiveness.  He alone knows our hearts and knows where we will go.  But to think that we all go to heaven when we die as long as we are good people and believe in God is a harmful and wrong mindset to have.  We are called to be more than good and even Satan believes in God.  Acting like everyone goes to heaven when they die leads people to believe that being a decent person and believing in God’s existence is enough, and that we don’t have to try to live our lives for God.
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This month, take extra dedicated time to pray for your family members and friends who have died and have masses said for them.  And when this month ends, keep praying for them as well as for those you don’t know.  Prayer is the best thing we can do for those we love while they are alive on this earth and  also when they die.