Not Worthy

A few weekends ago, we painted our living room.  Now, we are preparing to paint the kitchen this week.  Over the weekend, we moved stuff from the kitchen to the living room and to other parts of the house so that we could get the ceiling done.  Our kitchen table chairs are in the living room and everything else is also out of place.  There are old sheets spread out on the floor, serving as drop cloths, paint supplies and materials sitting out, and the house is just a bit chaotic to say the least.  It’s one of those times that you just hope no one shows up at your door.  Who wants guests in the midst of mess and chaos?  Maybe we’ve had this thought about our relationship with Jesus and about letting Him into our lives?  Maybe we sometimes feel like our lives are not in order and question why Jesus would want to come into the mess.  Maybe we sometimes feel unworthy.  We ARE unworthy.  But Jesus gives Himself to us anyway.

In today’s (Monday) Gospel, we read about the Roman Centurion asking for his ill servant to be healed.  He says, “Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof.  Therefore, I did not consider myself worthy to come to you; but say the word and let my servant be healed” (Luke 7:6-7).  With deep trust, faith, and humility, He acknowledges his unworthiness for Jesus to come into his home and asks that Jesus heal his servant just by speaking.  We echo this line of the Centurion right before communion.

Every time we go to mass, we say, “Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”  In that moment, as the priest holds up the consecrated host, and as we are about to go up to receive Jesus Christ in the Eucharist-body, blood, soul, and divinity, we acknowledge that we are in the presence of Jesus, and that we are unworthy of His sacrifice, unworthy to receive Him.  We acknowledge our weaknesses and our sinfulness and trust that Jesus can come into the mess and chaos and strengthen and heal us.
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We are unworthy of this deep encounter with Jesus.  And yet, He allows us to receive Him in this way because He loves us and wants to dwell within us- to heal us, strengthen us, and nourish us.  With deep faith, we must humbly acknowledge His presence and trust that He can heal us.  Our lives may be chaotic and out of order.  We are weak and sinful.  Just open the door of your heart.  We are not worthy.  But Jesus wants to come in anyway.