Catholic Faith Space
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This Friday, April 29, is exactly six months since the day my dad died. Where has the time gone? As I reflect on the last six months, there are a lot of thoughts that come to mind. The many thoughts seem impossible to put into words in any coherent way, but this post is an attempt.
The death of a parent, and any difficult things we may experience throughout life can make it seem like the world around us is crumbling. While our world completely changes, the rest of the world moves on, unaffected by the event. Over the past six months, I think the biggest reminder I have been given is that through the crosses we must carry and the trials we must endure, we are not strong enough. But God is. The losses that are inevitable are an opportunity to grow closer to the Lord and lean on Him, who is unchanging in the midst of a world that is constantly changing. I have also learned that God places us exactly where we are meant to be. “You’re in your twenties and you still live at home?” The amount of times I had heard this, or a similar variation, from different people over the past several years is too many to count. While these comments bothered me and were hurtful at times, I trusted that I was right where I needed to be. I knew my mom needed help with my dad. I also knew that it meant a lot to my dad, to have my siblings or I there every day. While most people had no idea what the situation was with my dad and many didn’t seem to understand the scope of it, I learned that what God knows is more important than what other people think or say. More than anything, it helped me grow as a person. Each day strengthened my faith, deepened my trust, helped me grow in patience, and increased my ability to see the dignity and value of life, no matter the circumstance. And now more than ever, there is no doubt in my mind that God had me where I needed to be. I got to sit in the living room watching a Thursday night Packer game with my dad in what would, unknowingly, be his last night on this earth. All I can say is, thank you Lord. If I had not lived at home, this wouldn’t have happened and neither would a lot of other small, ordinary moments that I am now really grateful for. Being at home allowed me to spend so much extra time with my dad that I would not have experienced otherwise. Moments like coming home from work everyday to respond to the same simple questions, like, “how was work?”, “what are we eating for dinner” to watching Family Feud or the Andy Griffith Show for the millionth time. Grief is a journey. It is completely possible to be at peace, yet to experience feelings of loss at the smallest and most random things. Hearing a song, looking at pictures, seeing a TV show, walking to certain parts of the house, eating certain foods, among many other random things, I have felt a great sadness and have been brought to tears. But it is in the grief that I have experienced deep gratitude. I have found myself thanking God for my dad and the gift of his life, for the memories, for allowing my family to be strengthened, and for all of the blessings that have flowed from that, even when I failed to recognize them. If you’re going through something that’s hard in your life, it’s okay to accept the fact that you are struggling and that it is difficult. You cannot handle it on your own. Ask God to carry you. When all you see is suffering and sorrow, look a little deeper to find the blessings. They are there. Find gratitude and choose joy always. And allow yourself to be drawn closer to God. He knows what He is doing and will never abandon you. “O my Lord, inflame my heart with love for You, that my spirit may not grow weary amidst the storms, the sufferings and the trials. You see how weak I am. Love can do all.- St. Faustina.
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“God is not just risen one day on the calendar but every day of the year. Every day of the year Jesus Christ is risen from the grave, He’s defeated sin and death. They have no power over us. Amen!” If this doesn’t make us excited, I don’t think there is anything else that will. One of my favorite things to do, especially on every Easter morning, is blast the song “Christ is Risen” by Matt Maher, specifically the live version. The passion and excitement within this song is how we should all feel about Christ’s resurrection. And not just one day each year, but every single day of our lives.
The Resurrection is the basis for our faith. It is the reason for our hope and joy. The Resurrection gives us the opportunity to live in a way that shows others who we are as Christians, and more importantly, to show others who Christ is. If we allow our lives to be led by this amazing and life-changing event, we will have real peace and joy that the world does not offer and that cannot be taken away. Hearing the Gospel for the Easter Sunday mass, there is one line that stood out to me. “They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first” (John 20:4). Both of the disciples ran in anticipation of what they would find upon arriving at the tomb. I think this line in scripture demonstrates their eagerness to see what happened and yet also reveals the courage it took to seek out something unknown, and ultimately, their willingness to believe that Jesus had truly risen from the dead. Do we have the same anticipation to see what we will discover when we fully and wholeheartedly seek Jesus in our lives? Are we eager to see where he will lead us? Do we have the courage to follow Him into the unknown, trusting that He will give us what we need? Living with the knowledge that Jesus is risen from the grave and has defeated sin and death should give us all a deep joy that fills our hearts and radiates from our very being. Run, don’t walk, to share this joy of the risen Christ with all who you encounter and the whole world! As Catholics, we’ve all heard the passion narrative so many times. If we sincerely try to focus on it and allow ourselves to enter into a deep reflection as it is being read, we will hopefully be moved by it every time. There is so much that happened in a short amount of time and every single moment demonstrates Christ’s love for us. Everything he went through was for each and every single one of us.
One line that stood out to me as the passion was read on Palm Sunday is from when Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. “He was in such agony and prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground” (Luke 22:44). To think of Jesus in this much agony and distress that His sweat would become drops of blood, it brings one thought to mind. The thought of just how much he loves us. When Jesus was nailed to the cross, we reflect on this ultimate sacrifice He made for us. However, His suffering, all for us, starts much before He is on the cross. When Jesus was praying in the Garden, he knew what he was about to endure. Knowing that He was very soon going to be bearing the weight of all the sins of the world brought out so many emotions, which is revealed by His sweat becoming drops of blood. His grief and anguish and all of the feelings He experienced shows us His humanity. His prayer to the Father was so deep and intense and it is evident that He was praying from the heart, asking for the Father’s will to be done. Reflecting on Christ’s agony in the Garden can help us with our own prayer lives and our surrender to God’s will. While we will never face anything close to what Jesus went through and will not experience our sweat turning into blood, we all have our own times of distress and suffering. We can look to Christ as the perfect example of how to respond in these times. When we are struggling or going through something hard, are we on our knees, praying intensely and asking for the Father’s will to be done? As we journey through this Holy Week, let Christ’s agony in the Garden and each moment after leading up to His death on the cross, be a reminder of just how much you are loved. Everything He did was for you and me. Allow yourself to fully enter into the events of this week. This week changed the world. Will you let it change your world? Today’s Gospel (Monday-4/3) starts with one of my favorite verses. The passage from John begins with, “Jesus spoke to them again, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’ (John 8:12).” The title of “Light of the World” is a powerful way to think of Jesus. Light guides us, helps us see, and eliminates the darkness. Jesus, who is the light of the world, illuminates the world around us, guides us, and changes everything. It is by His light that we can see.
The world around us is filled with darkness. Looking around, it doesn’t take long to see violence, hatred, an attack on human life, a distortion of love into something selfish, confusion about how God created humanity, and the list goes on. But Christ has the power to bring light into this darkness. If we try to look at and understand life without Him, nothing makes sense and we are left in this dark and dismal mindset. If we allow ourselves to be led by His light, we are better able to follow the path He wants us to walk, the path that leads us closer to Him. Light is something that we crave and that we are drawn to. Think of the sun. When it comes to the weather, there is nothing better than a bright, sunny day, especially after long periods of cold, overcast, or rainy days. When the weather is dreary and cloudy, we long to see the sun. Most of us probably enjoy the warmth and brightness of the sun, as it is thought to increase the brain’s release of serotonin. In the same way, we crave the light of Christ and are drawn to this light. Every single person longs for the Son and the light He provides, whether they realize it or not. Each and every one of us was created with this longing for God that no one and nothing else can satisfy. His light reveals the truth to us and fills us with love and joy, which can then fill the world around us. If we stay focused on Christ, we will never have to walk in complete darkness. Allow each day of your life to be illuminated by His light. Because when we follow the light that shines in the darkness, we will be able to see. We will be able to see all the goodness and beauty that surrounds us. |
AuthorStriving to share hope, joy, God's love, and all of the good stuff, one blog post at a time. Categories |
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